修正:
2. Risk Factors for PNO-DVT
Based on the 10 variables selected through univariate analysis and LASSO regression, this study performed multivariate logistic regression to identify independent predictors of postoperative deep vein thrombosis (DVT). The results indicated that
理由:
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标题格式与术语规范:
- “Risk factors of” → “Risk Factors for”:学术标题中习惯用“for”表示“……的风险因素”,且首字母大写(标题式大小写);“Risk Factors”作为名词短语,首字母应大写。
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动词精准性与学术风格:
- “further conducted a multivariate Logistic regression analysis to determine” → “performed multivariate logistic regression to identify”:
• “performed”比“conducted”更常用于描述统计分析操作;
• “logistic regression”为通用术语,首字母小写(除非句首),因非专有名词或人名(如Logistic不源于人名,且现代医学写作惯例已小写);
• “identify independent predictors”比“determine the independent predictors”更准确、简洁、符合流行病学/统计学表述习惯(predictors are identified or selected, not determined in this context);
• 删除冗余副词“further”,因前文未提及其他分析步骤,“further”缺乏指代依据。
- “further conducted a multivariate Logistic regression analysis to determine” → “performed multivariate logistic regression to identify”:
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术语准确性与临床严谨性:
- “diabetes” → “
diabetes mellitus ”:在医学研究中,尤其涉及混杂因素调整时,必须使用全称“diabetes mellitus”以区别于其他糖代谢异常(如gestational diabetes、drug-induced hyperglycemia),避免歧义。 - “any surgical history” → “
previous surgical history ”:“any”语义模糊(含当前手术?未来手术?),且不符合临床术语;“previous surgical history”是标准表述,明确指本次手术前的既往手术史。 - “operation time” → “
operative duration ”:“operation time”口语化且易歧义(可指麻醉时间、切皮时间或总流程时间);“operative duration”是循证医学文献中推荐的标准术语(见STROBE声明及《Annals of Surgery》等期刊用语指南),特指手术开始至结束的时间长度。 - “A/G group” → “
albumin-to-globulin ratio (A/G) ”:“A/G group”完全错误:A/G 是连续型比值变量(如1.5、2.1),非分类“group”;原文误将指标名称当作分组变量。必须写出全称并标注缩写,首次出现需定义。 - “PLR” → “
platelet-to-lymphocyte ratio (PLR) ”:同上,首次出现须定义全称;且“PLR”本身是比值(数值型),非“group”或模糊概念。 - “ALB” → “
serum albumin (ALB) ”:“ALB”是实验室检测项目缩写,但单独使用不明确(可能被误认为白蛋白基因ALB);临床研究中必须注明“serum albumin”以明确为血清学检测指标,并括号标注缩写。
- “diabetes” → “
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逻辑与语法修正:
- “were the influencing factors for deep vein thrombosis” → “were significantly associated with PNO-DVT”:
• “influencing factors”是非专业、模糊的口语化表达,易被审稿人质疑因果推断过度;回归分析仅能说明“association”,不能直接断言“influence”(尤其横断面/回顾性设计);
• 统一使用研究终点全称“PNO-DVT”(而非泛泛的“deep vein thrombosis”),确保术语一致性;
• 增加“significantly”提前至谓语动词前,使统计学意义更醒目(与后文P值呼应)。
- “were the influencing factors for deep vein thrombosis” → “were significantly associated with PNO-DVT”:
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句式优化与信息清晰度:
- “The specific regression analysis results are shown in Table 6.” → “Detailed regression results are presented in Table 6.”:
• “specific”冗余(所有表格结果都是具体的);“detailed”更贴合学术表达;“presented”比“shown”更正式。 - “Among them, ALB and surgical history showed a significant correlation with PNO-DVT (P < 0.01).” → “Notably,
serum albumin (ALB) andprevious surgical history exhibited statistically significant associations with PNO-DVT (P < 0.01 ).”:
• “correlation”错误:Logistic回归分析的是association(OR值),而非相关系数(correlation coefficient, r);“correlation”特指线性相关性,用于连续变量间关系,此处为二分类结局与连续/分类预测因子的关系,必须用“association”;
• “exhibited statistically significant associations”比“showed a significant correlation”更准确、正式;
• “Notably”替代“Among them”增强逻辑衔接,突出关键发现;
• 再次统一使用全称+缩写(ALB)、规范术语(previous surgical history),并确保P值格式正确(斜体P,空格,<符号,数字保留两位小数惯例,但此处0.01已规范)。
- “The specific regression analysis results are shown in Table 6.” → “Detailed regression results are presented in Table 6.”:
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其他细节:
综上,修正后文本符合医学英语写作规范(如CONSORT、STROBE)、术语准确性、统计学表述严谨性及学术出版要求。