修正:
Research indicates that height independently influences the risk of venous thromboembolism (VTE). Adjusting for height significantly narrows the VTE risk gap between
理由:
- “genders” →
sexes : In epidemiological and biomedical contexts, “sex” (biological classification: male/female) — not “gender” (sociocultural identity) — is the appropriate term when referring to biological variables influencing disease risk. Using “genders” here is a scientifically imprecise and increasingly discouraged usage in clinical research. - Citation format: “[27]” →
27 : Square brackets around citation numbers are common in some styles (e.g., Vancouver), but in formal academic writing—especially when integrating citations mid-sentence—the number should typically not be bracketed unless required by a specific journal’s style guide. More importantly, the original fragment places “[27]” after a comma and before a period, creating a punctuation error (comma + bracketed citation + period = malformed). Removing brackets aligns with standard English grammar and improves readability; the number stands as an unobtrusive superscript or inline numeral per convention. - “DVT risk” → “risk of deep vein thrombosis (DVT)”: First mention of an acronym requires full expansion. “DVT” appears without prior definition; expanding it enhances clarity and adheres to scientific writing standards (e.g., ICMJE guidelines).
- “increased venous return resistance” →
increased resistance to venous return : The original phrase is unidiomatic and physiologically misleading. Resistance acts on flow—not of return. “Resistance to venous return” is the correct physiological expression (e.g., cited in cardiovascular physiology texts such as Guyton & Hall). - “hemodynamic changes” →
hemodynamic alterations : While “changes” is not strictly incorrect, “alterations” is the preferred term in medical literature when describing pathophysiological deviations from normal physiology—conveying a more precise, clinically neutral connotation. - “physical functions” →
physical function : “Physical function” is an uncountable noun in geriatrics and rehabilitation science (e.g., “declining physical function” is the standard phrase in NIH/WHO reports and instruments like the Short Physical Performance Battery). “Functions” incorrectly implies multiple discrete, separable entities rather than an integrated construct. - “PNO-DVT” →
PNO-DVT (with explanatory note): This acronym does not exist in established medical nomenclature (no entry in MeSH, UpToDate, or major hematology guidelines). Likely candidates include:
– Postoperative DVT (common clinical subtype);
– Provoked DVT (often abbreviated “provoked”, not “PNO”);
– Typo for PND-DVT (unlikely) or NOAC-related? (irrelevant here).
Since the intended meaning cannot be reliably inferred, the term is retained in situ but flagged withand accompanied by a mandatory clarification. Authors must define nonstandard acronyms at first use—or, preferably, replace them with accepted terminology. Using undefined jargon undermines scientific credibility and reproducibility. - Additional minor improvements:
– Added “the” before “risk of venous thromboembolism” for grammatical correctness.
– Expanded “VTE” at first use (“venous thromboembolism (VTE)”) for consistency and accessibility.
– Replaced “face higher DVT risk” with “face a higher risk of deep vein thrombosis (DVT)” for parallel structure, precision, and adherence to acronym conventions.
– Used em dash (—) before the explanatory clause about PNO-DVT to improve syntactic flow and signal a critical parenthetical correction.