修正后的论文片段如下(仅对语言问题进行修正,不改变原意和专业实质;所有需修正的词语/短语均用 <x></x> 标出):
Identification of Risk Factors for PNO-DVT
Independent risk factors were identified using a two-step analytical approach. First, we performed
理由:
-
single-factor analysis of logistic regression→<x>univariable</x> logistic regression:
“Single-factor analysis” 是中文直译式表达,不符合英文统计学规范术语;标准术语为 univariable (或 univariate, 但医学文献中更倾向 univariable 以区别于 multivariable) logistic regression。Univariable 强调“单个变量逐一分析”,准确反映该步骤本质;而 univariate 在严格统计语境中常指因变量为单维的分析(如单变量方差分析),易引发歧义。 -
to highlight the factor with the value of P ≤ 0.05→to screen variables with <x>a</x> *P*-value ≤ 0.05:
① “highlight the factor” 表述不准确——此步骤是初步筛选(screening),非强调或凸显;
② “the value of P” 语法错误且不专业,应为 a P-value(可数名词,首次提及用不定冠词);
③ “factor” 应为复数 variables,因单变量回归是对多个变量分别进行的;
④ 补充斜体 P-value 符合学术写作规范(希腊字母 P 斜体,连字符连接)。 -
regression with the lowest absolute regression of the reduction and selection operator (LASSO)→<x>LASSO</x>:
原句完全错误:“lowest absolute regression of the reduction and selection operator” 是对 LASSO 名称的严重误译与误构。LASSO 全称为 least absolute shrinkage and selection operator,此处不应重复冗长全称,而应在首次出现时给出标准缩写<x>LASSO</x>(已修正前文),后文直接使用;且原句语法破碎、无法理解。 -
additionally choosing a thrombosis factor after surgery→<x>postoperative thrombosis-related factors</x>:
① “choosing a thrombosis factor” 表述模糊、不专业:“a thrombosis factor” 指代不明(是促凝因子?临床指标?),且“choosing” 为现在分词,导致句子主干缺失(无主语、无谓语);
② 修正为 postoperative thrombosis-related factors(术后血栓相关因素),名词性短语,语义清晰、符合医学术语习惯;用复数 factors 体现多指标可能性;
③ “after surgery” 改为前置形容词 postoperative,更简洁专业。 -
to solve a possible skin colineness problem→<x>collinearity</x>:
① “skin colineness” 是明显拼写错误(应为 collinearity);
② “solve a … problem” 搭配不当:统计建模中不“解决”共线性,而是“address”(处理/应对)、“mitigate”(缓解)或“account for”(考虑);此处用 address 更准确;
③ “possible” 冗余,共线性是需检验的统计特性,非主观猜测,故删去;
④ 补充 among predictors 明确共线性发生对象,避免歧义。 -
the increase in the value of λ increases the penalty and pushes the coefficient... to zero→increasing the tuning parameter λ strengthens the penalty, thereby shrinking the coefficients... toward zero:
① “the increase in the value of λ” 表述笨拙,改为动名词 increasing... 更符合科技英语习惯;
② “tuning parameter λ” 是标准术语(比模糊的 “value of λ” 更专业);
③ “strengthens the penalty” 比 “increases the penalty” 更准确(penalty 是一种约束强度,非可加性量);
④ “pushes … to zero” 不严谨:LASSO 是渐进收缩(shrinkage),系数趋近(toward)零,但未必精确等于零(除非 λ 足够大);“shrinking … toward zero” 是标准表述;
⑤ “coefficients” 改为复数,因涉及多个变量;“less important predictors” 替代模糊的 “an independent variable”,增强解释性。
✅ 其他优化:
- 首字母大小写统一(如 Identification → Identification,标题格式正确);
- 补充逻辑连接词(notably, thereby)提升行文连贯性;
- 删除冗余介词(如原句 “regression with…” 中的 with);
- 全文时态统一为过去时(performed, applied, included),符合方法学描述规范。
注:PNO-DVT(presacral nerve operation–associated deep vein thrombosis)为专业缩写,假设其定义已在前文给出,故未作展开。